They pulled back the curtain, allowing the mouth-watering odors to come through unobstructed. There, just a few feet beyond us, was a spread unlike one we had ever seen. Dishes stacked upon dishes, glowing under orange-and-golden lights, all plated in little snack trays and lovingly nestled inside Mets-themed tissue paper. A hush fell over the crowd -- but only for a second. Then, everyone rushed forward, our animal brains lit up and glowing with the thought of "FOOD."

The Mets opened the Citi Field gates on Thursday morning to guide us through the stadium's newest offerings. They showed off the first bobbleheads they'll be giving away this year, including the Francisco Lindor bobblegnome and the Polar Bear Pete Alonso bobblehead, complete with a removable polar bear head. (They didn't have samples to show yet, but get ready for a three-part Gary Cohen, Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez set to collect later this year. Finally, you can assemble your very own SNY broadcast crew on your mantle.)

They showed off the brand new 4K LCD video boards lining the outfield wall and walked us through the latest additions to the Mets Hall of Fame -- say hello to a Bartolo Colon jersey on display.

But then it was time for the star of the show, the -- excuse the pun -- main course: The food.

It was like we had been invited to Willy Wonka's factory, only he had swapped out the chocolate for all the greatest, tastiest, deepest fried treats on the planet. Or, to put it simply, it was heaven.

Every stadium vendor was there, ready to serve their wares and answer questions. (Even if those Q's usually came out in satisfied grunts, the type of barely words you give waiters when they come by and ask, "Enjoying everything this evening?")

My plan was to try everything on display -- from the newcomers to the old standbys like Fuku and Shake Shack -- and report back on the good, the great, the greatest and the stuff you can probably skip. After all, this is the kind of assignment worth begging an editor to send you on. But my eyes were far too large for my brain. Even with most places serving up half portions, and even after eating just half of those, I couldn't make my way through it all.

So, while I can't vouch for everything inside Citi Field, I can still be your Virgil and guide you through the perfect batting lineup of what's being offered. Like at a fancy Michelin-star rated restaurant, think of this not as a 1-9 ranking, but rather a culinary guide of ballpark delights designed to maximize your enjoyment. Capisce? Here we go.

1. Fondue Ripper from The Metropolitan Fry Factory

Yes, we're going to lead off with a hot dog. After all, when you're at the ballpark, you want something classic. But this is no ordinary hot dog. This is a dog that's been sent to the moon and has returned, having transformed into something new. The Ripper comes topped with caramelized onions, crispy onions and, yes, Swiss cheese fondue.

I'll never look at a hot dog without fondue the same way again.

Available on the Field Level at Taste of the City and in the Delta Sky360 Club.

Sign up to receive our daily Morning Lineup to stay in the know about the latest trending topics around Major League Baseball.

2. Chicken Tinga Tacos from Tacocina

For a city with such great food on every street in every borough, New York City tacos can be pretty hit or miss. But these -- from Williamsburg taqueria Tacocina -- were a smash. Featuring braised chicken in a flavorful sauce of tomato, onion and garlic, they came garnished with avocado, cotija cheese and cilantro. Though they weren't available on Thursday, you'll also be able to order pork tacos and a crispy cheese option for vegetarians inside the stadium.

These are also the perfect No. 2 hitter as they'll fill you up, but keep you limber enough as we hit the heart of the lineup.

Available on the Field Level at Taste of the City.

3. The People's Champion Burger from Pig Beach BBQ

With a name like Pig Beach, you would hope they could bring the power and baby, they do. This honestly might be the best burger I've ever had -- whether at a stadium or not. The People's Champion Burger starts with a blend of beef brisket and short rib and is topped with American cheese, sweet-n-tangy pickles and secret sauce housed within a Martin's potato roll. There is also something on this called "bacon onion magic." I don't know what that is, but after tasting it, I'm willing to accept that it's magical. Do not miss this thing.

Available at the Jim Beam Highball Club on the Promenade Level

4. Fried Chicken Biscuit Sandwich from Jacob's Pickles

Jacob's Pickles is already a personal favorite, so when I saw they were coming to Citi Field, I knew I had to skip breakfast that morning. That was the right decision as the restaurant brought two of their menu standouts: Their fried pickles with spicy red mayo and this fantastic sandwich.

The biscuit is buttery, chewy, and flaky in all the best ways and it pairs perfectly with the crunchy, salty chicken. Given the restaurant's name, it shouldn't surprise you that this thing comes covered in pickles, giving the whole thing a lovely tart and extra crunchy bite. This sandwich is a true behemoth, so don't feel bad if you have to split it two to three ways.

Available in the Delta 360 Club and the Jim Beam Highball Club on the Promenade Level.

5. Chicken Tenders and Cheesy Tater Kegs at Amazin' Chicken Co.

This is one of the new in-house creations from the Mets and Senior Executive Chef Jason Eksterowicz. It's such a perfectly paired combo that proves Eksterowicz knows precisely what he's doing.

While I've had many awful, soggy ballpark tenders, these things are so crisp and flavorful they put other tenders to shame.

Then we come to the tater kegs. Don't think of them as a tater tot, rather think of them as the kind of cheesy potato bomb that you probably had dreamed up once when you were a child, but an adult told you could never actually be made. I'm stuffed beyond belief and I still can't stop thinking about these.

Available on Field Level at Taste of the City

6. Lobster Bayside Chips at Lobster Shack

I have something shameful to admit: Even though I'm originally from New England, I've never been into lobster. Apparently, I've just been eating bad lobster because when I gave this dish a try, my worldview changed.

The chips come topped with fresh and tender Maine lobster, lobster fondue (everything is better with fondue), cilantro dressing and chives. Using chips to scoop up flavorful lobster meat makes you feel a little like a French king in the 1700s as it's the most decadent thing you can do. I'll be back to try their Maine lobster roll in the future.

Available on the Field Level behind Section 104.

7. Polar Burger 2.0 from Alonso's Arctic Grill

You know how sometimes a batter messes with his swing and you think, "Buddy, you were already perfect! Why did you change a thing?"

That's how I feel about the new Polar Burger. I loved last year's Polar Burger. That one was a pure umami bomb, mixing a black truffle-blended patty with maple-spiced caramelized onions and smoked gouda cheese -- three of my very favorite personal flavors.

This year's is plenty good, too. It's still a Pat LaFrieda dry-aged burger blend -- you can't go wrong there -- but now it comes with American cheese, secret sauce, a sesame brioche bun and some kick from the cherry bacon jam. Maybe this is more like your favorite burger, but I'll shed a tear every time I think about the original.

Available on the Field Level behind Section 102.

8. Classic Mac from Murray's Mac and Cheese

We're getting to the bottom of the lineup, so it's probably time for something light, huh? Perfect time to have pasta topped in cheese! Murray's is known for their NYC cheese shops, so naturally they know how to make a great mac and cheese. The pasta was perfectly cooked and the sauce was salty and gooey in all the right ways.

They have a buffalo mac too, but why mess with the original?

Available in the Jim Beam Highball Club on the Promenade Level

A post shared by Murray’s Mac & Cheese (@murraysmac)

9. Waffle ice cream sandwich from Sweet Chick

Some managers refer to the ninth spot in the lineup as a second leadoff spot. That's what I'm going to say about this -- though, I honestly don't think I could eat another bite even if you forced me to. So, close out your day at Citi with a taste of something sweet. While there are many great choices -- from the Mets-themed cookie at Cookie Crumz to the booze-drenched ice cream at Tipsy Scoop -- I simply can't think of a reason to eat anything other than a waffle ice cream sandwich. This one comes with maple ice cream sandwiched between two waffles before getting dipped in dark chocolate, sprinkles and crushed pretzels.

As I said before, this was heaven.

Available on the Field Level behind Section 102.